Lumpyporridge.com

Jokes Main | Submit a Joke | Create a Category

How to lead a Healthy Diet of Insanity..

These are simply coping techniques - so enjoy!

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Insist that your e mail address is:
Xena-Warrior-Princess@OCDSB.edu.on.ca
Elvis-the-King@OCDSB.edu.on.ca

4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

5. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

6. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

7. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

8. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

9. Dontuseanypunctuationorspacesbetweenwords.

10. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

11. Ask people whether they are male or female, then laugh hysterically after they answer.

12. Specify that your drive-through order at Mc Donalds is "to go."

13. Sing along at the opera.

14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

15. Put mosquito netting around your office space. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

16. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Submitted by:

Rating:

Rate it:

Rachel

Lumpyporridge.com - A funny site with a funny name!

Drag this bowl to your desktop to make a shortcut to this site.

Subscribe!
Free email updates!

Report errors

Search this site

What percentage of weird are you?
	20%
	40%
	60%
	110%
View Results
Add Polls!

Advert