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Blonde Jokes

Blonde with Headphones

This blonde (who always wore headphones) was a regular customer at the hair dressers and always got her hair cut by the same guy... after about a month he asked her why she always wore these headphones and she replied "Well, I need them don't I?"

He was so frustrated trying to cut her hair with her headphones on that he just ripped them off her head. Then, after abot a minute and a half she collapsed to the ground, dead. He lifted the headphones to his ears and heard a voice repeating the same words... "breath in...and out, breath in...and out..."
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CATHERINE
Deer Tracks

Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks!" The other blonde looked and said "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks!" "No. Those are definitely deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, until half an hour later they were both run down by a train.
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Adriano Belmonte.
Blondes, Moon or Florida

There were two blondes on a beach in California one evening. While gazing at the sky one blonde says to the other, "Which do you figure is closer florida or the moon?" the other blond looked at her and said "duh, can you see Florida from here?"
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911

In an American court room one humid afternoon...
Q. And why couldn't you dial 911?
A. I couldn't find the 11 key!
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Jez nicholls
Blonde Car Accident

One day a blonde was in a car accident. Nobody was harmed, and she was still able to put on lipstick.

An officer comes by and asked what happened.

The blonde said "It was the weirdest thing. I was driving down the road when a tree popped out of nowhere, so I swerved to the left then another tree popped out of nowhere so I swerved to the right then another..."

Before she could finish the officer interupted her and said "There isn't a tree here for a hundred miles, and ma'am, that was your air freshener swinging back and forth!"
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coolio


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